Let's Go Back to the Start
by Eridanus7Always
Summary: A madman is loose in Camelot. Merlin is gravely injured. And what secrets will Arthur learn of Merlin's first love?
1. Where is He?

All rights belong to BBC and its proper creators. No slash. Enjoy! And please Review.

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The light fell slanted across George's face, gleaming manically in his dark eyes. The madness was cut clear across the twisted features of his face. His lips pulled back in a menacing snarl. Not at all like the young hapless man who had once made jokes about brass. "One wrong move Arthur." He hissed as he dug the knife up under Gwen's chin, forcing her head back as a dark trickle of blood stained the white collar of her blouse. "And I'll slit her throat clean open."

"Let her go, George." Arthur pleaded. "She has nothing to do with this."

"Give him to me." George said "Give him to me and you can have the girl."

Arthur felt panic slip through him. It made his limbs feel heavy and his heart flutter weakly. This couldn't be how it ended, that knife sinking deeper into Gwen's throat. "Please, let her go. I don't know where he is?" Arthur choked out. He couldn't lose her. Not like this.

"That's not good enough!" George screamed, overcome by a frantic hysteria the blade slipping under Gwen's neck. "Please, please." Arthur begged holding his hands out desperately. "Just don't hurt her."

"Last chance Arthur?" George said, the knife slipping deeper. Gwen gasping as her fingers tightened around George's arms. Arthur took a short breath, feeling tears sting the back of his eyes.

"Please George." He said in a petrified whisper. "Please not her. Kill me if you have to just let her go."

"Sorry Arthur." George sneared. "But that's not how this works."

Arthur felt every second of that next moment.

The knife slipping down from under Gwen's neck.

Gwen collapsing to the floor as George's arm pulled back from around her slender body.

George staggering back, his body arching forward as his hand came around to where a dark stain was spreading across his tunic. His face twisted into a terrible snarl, his dark eyes now spitting with rage. His fingers tightening around the hilt of the blade as he spun back. The knife whistling through the air, tearing through flesh in an arc of blood that splattered sickeningly up the wall.

"Merlin!" Arthur screamed as he watched his friend hit the floor.


	2. Have Faith

Disclaimer-I do not own BBC Merlin. But I did create a few of the characters for my purposes with this story, a few knights and the villain you'll meet later.

Thank you so much for the reviews.

And so as not to confuse people this is set prior to the events that transpired in the first chapter. Enjoy!

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Warm sunlight spilled through the arched window across tables cluttered with old books and vials of various potions to a cot where an old man lay sleeping. He stirred his eyes fluttering as he shifted, the old cot creaking beneath him. He pushed his eyes open, looking past the mess to the still closed door of his ward's chamber where a small hunched figure sat on the steps, his blonde head resting against the wall. The cold glowed in his cheeks, his body shaking even under the cloak that was wrapped tightly around him. Gaius's sighed, his eyes growing dark.

These past few weeks had been hard on everyone. Camelot was frightened. But Arthur was breaking. It had all started over a month ago. It was the middle of September, the leaves still clinging to the trees when a young boy had ridden into Camelot in the early hours of the morning. He brought word from a small village in the Northern Planes where children where being kidnapped from their beds. The villagers where desperate for the King's help not knowing any other way to stop the dark force that threatened them. Taking only a small patrol of men with him, Arthur had left immediately.

They had been gone for only a couple of weeks when one evening a horse came running up the streets of the lower town as if something was after it. It wheeled into the courtyard, sweat lathered and sides heaving. Arthur was only just clinging to its back, his skin pale and cold, the life almost gone from him. The guards had rushed forward pulling Arthur from his mounts back and only then did the poor beast collapse from exhaustion. Gaius had been able to patch him up but no one, not even Arthur knew what had become of his men or Merlin.

The people were scared. The Knights were restlessly. Many were morning the loss of friends and loved ones who had accompanied Arthur. But none were morning as much as Arthur. He had lost many good men but he had also lost his closet companions. It hadn't just been Merlin who Arthur had taken on the patrol to the North Planes; he had taken Gwaine and Leon as well.

Arthur was welling from the loose, struggling to maintain a façade of calm for his people. But he was suffering. Gaius could see him growing old in just the few weeks since he had returned. Dark bags rimming his once sharp eyes, the grief etching itself in creases across his face. His once ridged posture growing slack. He had grown old in a blink of an eye. There was no fire in him anymore. Arthur blamed himself he always did when it came to the ones he loved. But until the patrol returned no one not even Arthur could shed light on what had happened out there.

Gaius drew the quilt from his bed into his arms. Shuffling over to Arthur's side he laid it across his shoulders, careful not to wake him. It had been so long since he had slept.

There was a sharp rap on the door. Gaius wincing as Arthur stirred. His eyes fluttering open.

"Gaius." He said his voice still heavy with sleep as the door opened to admit a small serving boy. "Sire. I was told to retrieve you immediately, the patrol has returned."

Arthur stood up, in his haste the quilt dropping to the floor. "Do they have news?" He asked.

The serving boy shook his head. "I'm sorry Sire, I do not know." He said looking guilty for not being able to give Arthur more. Arthur waved his hand as if it didn't matter but Gaius knew it was more out of annoyance. "Tell them I will be right there." The boy nodded his head, bowing as he stepped out.

"I'm sorry Arthur." Gaius said. "I didn't want to wake you.

Arthur shook his head. "It's alright Gaius."

"Did you get much sleep?" Gaius asked. Arthur nodded his head. Gaius's eyebrow rose skeptically. He could tell Arthur was blowing him off. Trying desperately to wiggle out of an uncomfortable conversation.

"Have faith, Arthur." Gaius said softly.

"In what?" Arthur asked.

"In him." Gaius said. "You have to believe he's strong enough to come back to you."

~/0\~

The steady drip of water echoed into the dark causing Merlin's eyes to flutter but he did not have the strength yet to open them. The water fell softly against his bloody lips that pulled apart so the next drop ran coolly down his raw and parched throat.

A soft groan passed his lips as his drew his fingers slowly across the rubble-strewn floor. Trying to move his legs ineptly for they were pinned down by some great pressure that kept him immobile, lying in an ever-growing pool of dark water that rose up slowly with each steady drip from overhead. The water washed slowly over his arms, drawing what little heat his flesh still retained dissipating it out into the dark.

Anther drop of water landed softly against his forehead running in a cold tendril over the sharp outline of his cheek. His eyes fluttered, pulling apart but they fell heavily shut once more a soft sigh passing his lips as his head swam with the pain. He could still feel the slow twisting of the cold blade, round and round in then out.

His body arched slightly, his lips parting in a breathless scream. He could feel the blade sinking deeper, twisting roughly to the side, blood burning down his flesh. Tears began to leak down his cheek's his shoulders' shuddering as his body collapsed inward.

But he wasn't done. Would he ever be done? The blade began to slip slowly out, Merlin's lips shuddering in relief but then it twisted around pulling sharply to one side tearing a long gash sideways across his chest. Merlin's body arched upward, a terrible agonized scream burning in his throat but passing like a raspy gasp across his lips. His throat was so raw he couldn't even scream as his shoulders began to shake with each silent sob. Blood ran warmly from the mutilated slits of skin, spreading out in an erry dark cloud through the water.

He clinched his teeth tightly together against the pain that was thrumming through him with each hollow beat of his heart. The pain burning white hot through his nerves in debilitating waves but slowly very slowly he pushed his eyes open.

He could see a dark shape looming overhead brightened in the middle by a light that burned Merlin's eyes as he blinked clearing the tears from his eyes. Drawing his eyes back up he could see the slow movement of dark clouds overhead, the light merely an orb of the sun that was pulsing ever so softly from behind the passing storm clouds.

Merlin sputtered in relief, not able to make an intelligible sound his mouth was so dry and his throat so raw. His eyes swept across the rough ceiling, comprised of heavily mortared stones, ripped apart leaving a gapping whole open to sky. Thunder rumbled softly, rain begging to patter softly against Merlin's face. His eyes fell back slowly closed, darkness slipping numbly across his vision so he couldn't feel anything at all. And for a moment there wasn't anything more beautiful than that.


	3. No Survivors

Disclaimer-I do not own BBC Merlin. But I did create a few of the characters for my purposes with this story, a few knights and the villain you'll meet later.

I'm going to try an updated this story at least weakly but it could be sooner.

Please review and Enjoy.

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Arthur arrived at the Great Hall, still trying to straighten himself and get his hair to lie flat. Two men stood watch over the door, stepping back as they saw him approaching. They bowed their heads pulling the doors open as Arthur strode inside. There were three men sitting down, frost gleaming in their hair and the cold still glowing in their cheeks as they nursed hot cider.

They moved to stand clumsily as Arthur entered, waving them to remain seated.

"Do you have news?" Arthur asked a little to eagerly.

Sir Kilian stepped forward shaking his head, shifting his still numb fingers tighter around the hot cup. "I'm sorry Arthur. We don't have good news." He said. Arthur took a short breath, forcing himself to cling to his regal composure as Sir Kilian carefully continued on.

"There is nothing left Sire." Kilian said. "Before we even reached the village of Dunland, we came across the patrol."

"Everyone was dead, Sire." Sir Hayden said sputtering to silence as Kilian shot him a weathering look.

"All dead." Arthur chocked out. It couldn't be. He couldn't be the only one to survive. Merlin had always been there, prattling along at Arthur's side. He couldn't just be gone. Ceasing to exist. And Gwaine and Leon his must trusted allies; they were like brothers to him. Could they all be dead? Wiped from the earth in one moment. Could Arthur really be that alone? He wanted to be sick…to scream…to cry…to do something but he just stood there looking at Sir Kilian in horror.

"I'm terribly sorry Arthur, there were no survivors. It appears the patrol was ambushed coming home, by what or who we could not say." Kilian said setting his glass of cider on the table as he stepped closer to Arthur. "The towns people were just finishing burying the bodies when we got there. They gave us what had been found with the bodies, small trinkets that may mean something to the families. We left the rest with them." Kilian stopped in front of Arthur.

"They gave us something else." He said slipping his hand into his pocket hesitating before he pulled out. "It was found on one of the men." Kilian said as he pulled a small tattered piece of red cloth from his pocket. Holding it out gingerly Arthur looked at it, dangling from between Kilian's fingers. Wavering, Arthur's eyes filled with moisture as a single tear escaped slipping down his cheek.

He pressed his hand over his mouth, muffling the sob that shook his body. Kilian stepped forward as Arthur collapsed in his arms. Forgetting decorum and regality, Arthur sobbed. Finally letting himself feel everything he had been trying so hard to bury.

~/0\~

Leon stood on the edge of the thin path he and Gwaine had been following for a good hour with no success. His right shoulder was pressed up against the steep rock face that rose sharply overhead and to his left the ground dropped off steeply under his feet, crumbling with each tentative step.

"Gwaine are you sure we are going to the right way?" Leon asked. "We've been walking for an hour and haven't seen another track."

"We're not turning back." Gwaine shot crossly over his shoulder.

"Gwaine, we need help." Leon said. "We have no idea what were after."

Gwaine spun around, his eyes shinning furiously. "We're not abandoning him Leon."

"I didn't say that—"

"But you were thinking it." Gwaine said angrily. "You would rather have gone back to the village and waited for help from Camelot. But by the time a patrol could get here from Camelot he could be dead." Gwaine said throwing his hands frantically in the air.

"I wanted to gather supplies." Leon said rising to Gwaine's challenge. "You have no idea what you're hunting."

"We've fought it." Gwaine said rattling the hilt of his sword.

"And lost!" Leon screamed. "It killed everyone. How can you hope to rescue Merlin with just the two of us." Leon was shaking with fear. It was a beast like nothing he had ever seen. Gwaine stepped back his eyes growing soft. "I have to try." He said looking despairingly at Leon. "I have to, he's my friend."

Leon let out a heavy sigh, nodding his head, the ground shifted suddenly beneath their feet, the loose earth tumbling down a long steep slope of snow and ice. Leon teetered for a moment, his arms wind milling for anything to help him regain his footing. Gwaine was knocked back against the rock face grasping tightly to it as the ground gave way beneath Leon's feet.

"Leon!" Gwaine screamed as he reached his arm out for Leon's plummeting form. Leon felt Gwaine's hand wrap firmly around his arm, his shoulder wrenching from its socket with a sickening pop. Biting down hard on his lip blood filled his mouth as he let out a terrible inhuman cry of utter agony. His vision went white for a moment as the pain thrummed hotly from his dislocated arm through his body.

Leon gasped, trying to shift his hand around Gwaine's arm but the effort was too much. He felt his body drop down in Gwaine's grasp, rocks tumbling around him. Gwaine groaned from overhead, gritting his teeth as he tried to tighten his grasp around Leon's arm but the weight was too much for him. He couldn't hold onto Leon for long.

"Leon." Gwaine gasped breathlessly, his hand shaking with the effort it took to hold onto Leon's dead weight. "I don't know how much longer I can hold on." He said through his teeth, straining as he tried to get a better grasp on Leon.

"Gwaine let go." Leon said.

"What?" Gwaine called out in surprise, his foot slipping over the edge causing a cascade of rocks to fall over Leon's head. Gwaine dug his other hand deeper, trying to cling to the thin lip of rock he was now teetering on and maintain his grasp on Leon but it all proved too much. The icy ledge shifted beneath Gwaine's feet as they plummeted down.


	4. Fading

Disclaimer-I do not own BBC Merlin. But I did create a few of the characters for my purposes with this story and the villain you'll meet in this chapter. He's a nasty piece of work.

I'm going to try an updated this story at least weakly but it could be sooner.

There is Merlin whump in this chapter so if that's not your thing be warned.

Thank you so much for all the wonderful reviews, they mean so much. Enjoy! And as always please review, I love to hear what you think.

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The stable smelled sweet of hay and horseflesh, the warm familiar smell easing the tightness that had been building in Arthur's chest and thawing the cold from his glowing cheeks. Camelot was caught in the throws of a terrible blizzard, its howling winds rattling the windows and burying the streets in fresh snow. Arthur knew he wouldn't be able to ride even if the weather had been clear his stitches were still fresh and tender.

But he had to do something. He felt like he was slowly suffocating. His chamber felt more like a cage, the air heavy with an unnatural silence. A cold creeping in that even the bright fire in his hearth couldn't keep out. He couldn't sit there any longer watching nameless servants scuttle in and out, just waiting for Merlin to bounce with some lame reason for his tardiness.

He had to do something. So he came here. He could only imagine his warhorse, Firefoot, could use a good brush down. He was strong horse, every inch of him rippling with muscle and he had served Arthur well. But being cooped up made him antsy and he tended to lash out violently at the stable hands. Arthur was the only one who could get close to him when he was like that, none of the stable hands would dare risk their fingers or shins.

Well that wasn't true.

Merlin had been able to. Arthur smiled at the memory.

_He had been sitting at his desk shuffling through an overwhelming stack of paperwork, the rain lashing against his window pains. The candle sputtering as it ate up the last of its wax. His chamber door had flew open to reveal a very drenched Merlin with a cross look on his face._

_"__Merlin." Arthur exclaimed jumping up as Merlin stepped in closing the door behind him, the cold water running down his face and dripping from his saturated clothes. "I sent you to clean out my stables not take a bath." He said eliciting a non-to gracious laugh from Merlin._

_"__Oh, I cleaned out your stables." Merlin said as he shucked off his jacket, shuffling with a pained limp over to a chair he dropped down wearily. "But you neglected to tell me of the ill tempered horse I'd find there just waiting a take a crack at me."_

_Arthur struggled to hide the smile that spread across his face as he remembered. "Oh, Firefoot. I'm sorry Merlin it totally slipped my mind." Arthur said receiving a bristling glare from Merlin who was busy trying to pull his boot off._

_"__Well that is one mean spirited animal, shying around making a ruckus so I tried to calm him down a bit and he kicked me." Merlin said dropping his boot to the floor reveling his foot that was swollen and turning a dark nasty purple. Arthur gasped stepping closer._

_"__Is your foot supposed to look like that?" Arthur asked._

_"__Does yours?" Merlin shot very tenderly running his fingers along his swollen ankle._

_Arthur drew out a chair dropping down next to Merlin. "I'm sorry Merlin, I should have warned you Firefoot can have a bit of temper when he's been cooped up for a while."_

_Merlin scoffed looking Arthur. "Well we shouldn't have that problem anymore."_

_"__What do you mean?" Arthur asked._

_"__Well." Merlin said looking a bit guilty, the color rising in his cheeks. "When he struck me, I don't know my foot was throbbing and I hit him."_

_Arthur's eyebrow rose skeptically. "You hit him." He said._

_Merlin nodded. "I just spun around and punched him right in the face." Merlin said. "But after that he was most agreeable." Merlin gave Arthur a hopeless smile both staring at the other for a long moment before breaking into a fit of uncontrollable laughter. _

"Arthur!" Capalla boomed startling Arthur as he took Arthur's hand firmly in his shaking it ferociously. "How are you doing?" He asked in that same booming voice that echoed from the walls.

"I'm doing well." Arthur said forcing a smile. "And you?"

"Oh, well you know these damned winters are terrible on the horses. They get so antsy being locked up. Just this morning one of them bite off two of my servant's fingers." He growled.

"Will he be alright?" Arthur inquired.

"Yes. But it's hard to keep help around when all of them are as skittish as the horses."

Arthur nodded his head.

"I can assure you though, Sire, the woman you sent to groom Firefoot although small is doing quiet commendable with him. " He thundered with a wide smile.

"Woman?" Arthur stuttered.

The Stable Master nodded his head. "Little old thing but he's seems to have taken quiet a liking to her, unusual though isn't it sending a woman instead of one of your servants?"

"Yes." Arthur stammered as Capalla stomped off, hollering at one of the stable boys. Arthur stepped forward looking over to where Firefoot stood, his ears laid back and tail swooshing happily. The girl was sinewy with a long dark braid falling over her slight shoulders. Her face was round with fierce dark eyes. She ran her hand down Firefoot's neck, singing softly as he nickered pressing his nuzzle into her stomach. She stopped hearing the soft drawl of Arthur's leather boots as he approached. "My lord." She said dropping her head as she knelt deeply.

Firefoot swung his head around nickering as Arthur scratched the soft skin of his nose in greeting. "What is your name?" He asked.

"Mira." She said.

"Are you a servant in the Castle?" Arthur asked.

She shook her head. "No, I work in one of the royal houses."

"So do you just get a kick out of grooming the King's horse?" Arthur asked. Mira began to twist the wire brush nervously in her hands as if she had done something wrong. "Well no, its just that I heard about what happened to your servant—" She said slowly as if worried about angering Arthur. "And my master sent me hear to take care of his mounts and he just looked so neglected I thought he might appreciate a good brush." She said running her hand nervously down Firefoot's neck, the horse shifting anxiously.

"Well, thank you." Arthur said nodding his head graciously.

"I really should get going though." She said. "If I'm not finished with my choirs by supper, my master will through a fit." She said light heartedly but there was a sense of dread in her words. Arthur nodded his head. "Okay. It was nice to meet you Mira." Arthur said. She curtsied, giving Firefoot a scratch under his nose before slipping past Arthur.

~/0\~

Anansi wasn't powerfully built or exceptionally tall, he was rather willowy and frail looking yet his men feared him. They shrank back into the shadows when he approached. They fell deathly quiet when he spoke. And no one dare challenge his option. They were all terrified of encoring his terrible wraith. It was his wraith that made him dangerous.

But at the moment there was almost a smile on Anansi's sallow face, a dim twinkle in his dark eyes as he approached the small cell tucked in the corner of his fortress. He was in good sprits and the men knew it was because of that boy. They had all heard the maddened wails that rose from the boy's cell. But they didn't feel any sympathy for his plight. Let him scream. Let him die. So long as it appeased Anansi, so long as it helped them.

The guards bowed low as Anansi approached, his boots clicking against the cold stone floor. "Good morning, Sire." They said in unison. "Open it up." He ordered. The guards snapped their heals together, pulling open the tall iron door as Anansi stepped inside.

The small cell was light by two flickering torches placed on either side of the door. The rough stonewalls arching overhead made the space feel tight and airless. A thin figure hung from the ceiling by his wrists, his knees just brushing the ground. His eyes fluttered trying to open but the poison made his eyelids heavy and his mind muddled.

Anansi stepped forward a cold sneer twisting his thin lips up into a vicious smile. It was beautiful, the way the cold light made his face look sunken and hollow like that of a corpse only just clinging to life. His lips cracked and bleed with each shallow gasp for air. Tears stained his cheeks, cutting long dark streaks through the blood and mud smeared across his face. His left cheek caved in as if the bone had collapsed and his nose twisted painfully to one side. He whimpered, blood leaking from the wounds that had been carved into his chest as he grasped his hands hopelessly trying to ease the pressure on his wrists. This was what he had waited six years for, this moment. To finally see Arthur's meddlesome servant pay for what he had done.

Merlin pushed his eyes open, with that infuriating doggedness that wouldn't let him give in. But that was fine; Anansi didn't mind having a little longer to play with his food before tossing it to the dogs. If Merlin wanted to fight Anansi would at least make it worth his whiled.

Anansi stepped forward, Merlin blinking to clear the tears from his eyes as he focused his gaze on his tormentor. "Good morning, Thief." Anansi spat.

"I don't understand." Merlin gasped, pain twisting his face as a weak breath shuddered across his chest. His throat was raw from screaming, from begging to know why. He was so weak even just a few simple words seemed capable of tipping him over the dangerous precipice he was teetering on.

Anansi felt rage swell up hotly in his gut. He drew his hand back snapping across Merlin's face. "You know what you've done!" He screamed. Merlin dropped his head as he spit blood down his chin, his eyes filling with moisture at the stinging pain that burned hotly in his cheek.

"You think I am a fool. You took her from me. You killed her." Anansi began to pace angrily, Merlin only just clinging to conciseness. He was so tired, his eyes slipping shut. The warmth of the drug pulling him down, but he pushed it away. He didn't know which was worse the nightmares or reality. And he didn't know which was which. The drug made everything hazy, they had begun to bleed together so every moment Merlin could feel him. Every moment Merlin was at the mercy of this ruthless monster.

"Who?" Merlin asked the word barley passing his lips. He had to know.

Anansi spun around, his eyes crackling with anger. "Freya." He spat like the very remembrance of the thing he had lost made him bristle with rage.

Freya. A memory stirred on the edge of Merlin's nightmare, somewhat pleasant. He could smell earth and lavender. She had smelled of lavender. He could feel her lips brushing warmly against his. The warmth of her arms made his skin crawl with the desire of being near her.

"You stole her from me." Anansi continued. "She was supposed to be with me."

Merlin shook his head. "She loved me." He said finding some strength in that. There was something outside the splitting waves of pain that threatened to tear him apart from the inside out. There was something else outside the darkness and the slow twisting of Anansi's cold blade. There was hope and love. He had been loved.

Anansi scoffed, stepping closer so Merlin could feel his breath materialize across his cheeks. "She was mine." He hissed. "She would had loved me if you hadn't intervened." Merlin felt his skin crawl, his shoulders shuddering as he heard the familiar hiss of Anansi slipping his knife from its sheath. Tears burned down his cheeks.

"Now you're going to pay for taking her from me." Anansi whispered. Merlin could feel the blade sinking deeper, twisting roughly to the side, blood burning down his flesh. His body arched slightly, his lips parting in a breathless scream. Anansi laughed, it was cold with no humor or good will as he plunged the knife deeper. Merlin's body arched upward, a terrible agonized scream burning in his throat but passed like a raspy gasp across his lips. His throat was so raw he couldn't even scream.

But this time Anansi stopped as quickly as he had started. He pulled the blade out, wiping it clean of Merlin's blood on his pants. It was time for the grand finale before he tossed the impotent serving boy to the dogs. It was time for the next move, one more final blow that would send shockwaves ripping through Camelot.

"Guards!" He called out.

The door opened, one of the guards stepping inside bowing deeply and waiting to be given an order. "Take the boy to the courtyard to be flogged." He ordered. "And tell the men that tonight after dinner they will understand the penalty for encoring my wraith."

Anansi stepped out of the cell without another glance in Merlin's direction. The guard moved forward not as cruel and twisted as Anansi his heart broke at the sight of the boy. He wrapped one arm carefully around Merlin's chest, cutting the bonds from around his raw wrists as Merlin collapsed into his arms with a muffled sob.

Gently the guard lowered him to the floor.

Merlin tightened his grasp around the Guard's arm, lifting himself up shakily to look on the face of the young man who was cradling him so gently in his arms. "Please." He begged. "Please just kill me. I can't—I can't fight it anymore. It hurts to much." He stammered his dark eyes brimming with a pain that seemed to burn against the Guard's skin.

"I need you to fight just a little longer, alright Merlin." He said wishing he could make Merlin understand. Just a little longer.

"Why?" Merlin asked.

"Just promise me, you won't give up just yet." The Guard said trying to give Merlin an encouraging smile. Merlin nodded his head weakly. He didn't know why he trusted this boy but he did, he would. The boy glanced around, making sure they were alone before he pulled something from within his uniform; it was small and smelled like wet earth. "Here, open up." He said.

Merlin gave him a skeptically look. Was this a trick? He didn't want anymore of that terrible drug Anansi had forced down his throat. He didn't want to hang in-between conciseness anymore. "I promise, it will help with the pain." The guard urged.

Merlin didn't know why but he pried his lips open just enough so the Guard could tuck it under his tongue. The effect was instantaneous. It dissolved warmly, tasting sweet as it rushed strength through Merlin's heavy limbs. Pushing back the oppressive fog that had been hanging over him. Numbing the pain so it was at least bearable.

"Thanks." Merlin said. His voice muffled by the still dissolving roll under his tongue.

"Now come on." The Guard said hauling Merlin to his feet and dragging him from the cell toward the heart of the fortress where the men were already begging to gather.


	5. Grimswald

Disclaimer-I do not own BBC Merlin. But I did create a few of the characters for my purposes with this story.

I am so sorry it has been so long since I updated, especially since I left you with a pretty nasty cliffhanger. My computer quiet on me and I haven't had a way to update till now. I'll try to keep the updates more frequent to make up for my absence.

I decided to give Mira, the mysterious serving girl, Arthur met in the stables a bigger part in this chapter. And I promise she's important (as well as her lover Liam) and you'll figure out why later in the story.

Thank you so much for all the wonderful reviews, they mean so much. Enjoy! And as always please review, I love to hear what you think.

* * *

Leon's hand broke through the snow from below as he drug his body gasping to the surface. Pushing his arms out to draw himself to his feet a burning pain crackled up his left arm knocking the strength from his knees. Dropping his gaze to his left arm it hung limply against his side. His fingers still curled as if wrapped around Gwaine's hand. He tried to pry them open, to pull his fingers apart. Trying to work blood back into them. But no matter how hard he tried he couldn't get them to move. His arm just hung there, immobile.

"_Leon!" Gwaine's voice echoed in his head. Leon felt Gwaine's hand wrap firmly around his arm. Gwaine's fingers digging through the soft flesh of his forearm as his body came to an abrupt halt his shoulder wrenching with a sickening pop from its socket._

Leon closed his eyes swaying as he let out a deep shaky breath. He had to keep calm, his arm was most likely dislocated. And as of right now there was nothing he could do to fix it. There was no way he could put it back into place on his own. He would need help. But right now he needed to find Gwaine and make sure he was alright.

"Gwaine!" Leon screamed his voice echoing off the towering wall of stone and scattering several pigeons from the tree tops overhead. Leon spun around searching the expanse of snow broken by fragments of rock and shattered trees. And then he saw it, not far from where he stood, a bit of red cloth barely poking up through the snow.

Leon scrambled forward, the thick snow clinging to his legs and sending him crashing to the ground.

"Gwaine!" Leon called out as the began to dig his good hand frantically through the snow. Pulling Gwaine bit by bit to the surface. Gwaine groaned as Leon rolled him into his arms, his eyelids fluttering.

"Leon—" Gwaine groaned his eyes opening slowly wavering unfocused till they found Leon and dropped heavily closed again. "Did it come?" He asked.

"What?" Leon asked his brow furrowing in confusion.

"The monster." Gwaine gasped. "You were right." Gwaine took a short breath pushing his eyes back open, the depths of his eyes shimmering like cut glass. "Are you hurt?" He asked, his eyes searching Leon as his hands clung tightly around Leon's arm.

Leon shook his head. "I'm alright." He lied.

Gwaine nodded his head, his eyes falling shut once more. His body collapsing back in Leon's arms. He was so weak he could barely keep his eyes open. "We should have waited. I was just so scared." Gwaine said breathlessly.

"It wasn't the monster." Leon said.

"It wasn't?" Gwaine said in surprise. "Then what happened? Why is everything so cold?"

"There was an accident." Leon said hesitantly. ""Are you hurt?"

"My leg." Gwaine gasped through his teeth. "I can't move it."

"Alright, just lie still." Leon said. Easing his good arm from around Gwaine, he began to dig the rest of him out from beneath the rubble of stone and snow that was packed around his legs. It was tedious work. The loose stone scraped at Leon's fingers staining the snow red. His hands shook numbly, glistening with the melting snow that turned the pale skin of his fingers a dangerous purple.

Leon had to stop several times to rub his hand vigorously against his pants, trying to draw the blood back to the tips of his numb and fumbling fingers. Gwaine had fallen quite. Leon didn't know if he was conscious or not but his chest continued to rise and fall. He was still breathing. He was still fighting.

The sun had shifted noticeably in the sky by the time Leon had freed Gwaine's legs. His fingers were stiff and hurt to move, the tissue looking almost bruised. Gwaine had remained quiet but the soft flutter of his closed eyes told Leon he was at least conscious.

"Gwaine, do you think you can stand?" Leon asked. Gwaine forced his eyes open, his face twisting in determination. "I can manage." He said trying clumsily to lift himself up. Leon reached out wrapping his good arm around Gwaine's back, pulling as much of Gwaine's weight as the could onto his shoulders as they stood.

Gwaine swayed reaching his feet he cried out in pain as his knees collapsed beneath him. Leon dropped stumbling awkwardly as he struggle to maintain his footing. "Gwaine." He called out worriedly.

"My leg." Gwaine gasped, tears burning down his cheek. His eyes wavering as he looked at Leon. "I think its broken." Leon felt fear begin to twist in his gut as he dropped his eyes down to Gwaine's leg. The pant leg was torn and stained darkly but it was hard to tell from here if the bone was broken.

"Do you think you can walk?"

"Not far." Gwaine said shaking his head, leaning harder on Leon. "Maybe not at all."

Leon knew they needed to get to shelter. If they stayed here in the open, the cold would kill them surely as the sun rises. But Leon was weak and he wasn't sure how far he could carry Gwaine on a broken leg. But he had to try. If he didn't they were dead anyways.

~/0\~

Mira stopped from her work, sitting back on her heels she wiped her forearm across her forehead with a weary sigh. Dropping her hands together she began to rub her aching fingers vigorously against the rough fabric of her dress. She paused hearing the nose again, a soft patter. Turning she looked toward the small arched window seeing a shadow flitter across the silver light that fell like lace across the floor.

Gripping the hem of her skirt she stood with a groan. Her stiff muscles aching from kneeling to long on the cold tile floor while she completed her last task for the evening. Mopping the floors was terrible business even in the summer months, it made her fingers raw and knees ache painfully with dark tender bruises. But in the winter it caused the skin on her hands to crack and bleed. The cold, shocking sensations of pain up her numb fingers with every vigorous motion as she drug the cloth across the wet floor.

Tap. Tap. The shadow grew flittering in front of the window, the noise growing more persistent and frantic. Sensation tingling back to her legs Mira wobbled toward the window. Reaching it she tried to tug it open but the window wouldn't budge, it seemed to be frozen shut.

The tapping had stopped as suddenly as it had began. The bird seeming to have settled down to wait patiently for her to figure out a way to get the window unstuck. Mira gritted her teeth in determination, planting her feet back she managed to wrench the window open after several unsuccessful tries.

Snow cascaded across the floor as the window flew back sending Mira crashing in a heap on the floor. She rolled over, hissing in pain as she grasped her throbbing elbow. A soft fluttering caused her to lift her eyes to the window. A small silvery owl sat looking at her, its head turning slowly side to side.

"Grimswald!" Mira exclaimed in surprise.

She held out her arm and Grimswald lifted himself up dropping down onto her arm. He made a soft purring sound as he rubbed up against her. Mira laughed. Scratching the bird behind the ear, he turned nipping her affectionately on the fingers.

"What are you doing here?" She asked.

The bird beat its wings as it held out its foot where a small scroll had been tied with red string. Reaching out hesitantly she pulled the scroll into her fingers. Unrolling it carefully she recognized the small cramped handwriting that had been scrawled across the parchment written not in ink but blood.

Mira swallowed pushing the lump of fear that had slipped into the back of her throat down into her stomach. Her eyes passed carefully across each word that had been written.

_M my love,_

_I pray by the time this reaches you, you have already found what you were looking for. But now we must make all haste. The Raven moves against the Dragon and our master is weak. I should be with you soon. But you must waste no time. Arthur must know the truth about you. We have to trust in him now or I fear the Dragon will fall and all our hopes with it._

_Forever Yours,_

_L_

Mira pushed out a shaky breath, quickly brushing away a tear. Her eyes coming back to those two haunting words, _my love._ She had known this day was coming for a long time. She only wished she had had more time. But what time she had been given with Liam had been stolen by the cruelty of their early parting so many years ago. It seemed their love was not meant to be lived out here, in this life.

Mira shook the troubled thoughts from her head, steeling herself against the pain that was ripping her heart to shreds inside her chest. Gathering her skirts with as much dignity as she could muster she pulled herself to her feet. Grimswald fluttered over to the window, hooting softly. "Stay out of sight." Mira whispered. "I will call you when I am ready for you." Grimswald nodded his head, doing a slight bow before taking off out of sight.

Mira pushed the window closed making sure it was secure before turning to collect the bucket. Her feet carried her swiftly through the abandoned halls and along dark corridors but her mind was far away. She had to trust now in Arthur, in the King he had become. She had to trust in Liam even if it meant she might lose him. But more than anything she had to have faith in the man she knew only through his brother. If Arthur could not accept magic now than Camelot was already lost. War was coming but were they ready?


	6. The Honest Truth

Disclaimer-I do not own BBC Merlin. But I did create a few of the characters for my purposes with this story.

So I would just like to say I am not a doctor and the only medical knowledge I posses is that what Google can share with me. So I just want to apologize in advance if any of my medical terminology or situations are not perfectly explained or seem ill likely. I try to do as much research as I can but Google can only tell me so much and the rest I kinda improvise.

Thank you so much for all the wonderful reviews, they mean so much. Enjoy! And as always please review, I love to hear what you think.

* * *

Mira gathered her skirts bobbing a curtsy, she greeted Arthur respectfully. "Sire, I'm sorry to interrupt but I was wondering if I could speak with you." Arthur stood from where he had been having dinner, casting his eyes back to where George was standing behind him.

"George, please leave us." Arthur commanded. George nodded, stepping forward to set the pitcher of wine on the table. "Is there anything else you need me to do before I go home this evening, Sir?" He asked. Arthur cast his eyes back to George with brisk irritation. "Just take the dishes to the kitchen and that will be all." George nodded again pulling Arthur's dirty dinner dishes into his hands, giving Mira a respectful smile as he passed out the door.

"Mira." Arthur said with a greater degree of warmth once George had stepped out. "I hadn't expected to see you again so soon." He seemed happy to see her which was odd considering he barely knew her but Mira could see the darkness of these past weeks clouding across his usually bright eyes. He still carried the burden of guilt it weighed down his normally proud shoulders.

He would probably always. Time healed no wounds it only made them easier to carry.

"I didn't mean to interrupt your dinner, Sire-"

Arthur held up his hand to stop her. "Please, call me Arthur." He said. Mira looking a bit alarmed at the invitation to speak so informally with her King. "I know its not customary." Arthur said looking suddenly flushed, stuttering as he struggled to push on. "I mean we barely know each other but to be frank these past weeks have not been easy for me and I could really use a friend now more than ever. I need someone to just be honest with me and stop stumbling around my title."

Mira shifted uncomfortably, begging to twist her hands together. "Well thank you-Arthur." She said tentatively. "But I'm afraid what I have to tell you isn't going to be easy to swallow."

Arthur's brow furrowed in confusion. "What do you mean?

"Well, since you asked me for honesty I'm just going to come out say it." Mira paused for a half a second, only long enough to get the strength to push the words out that were choking at the back of her throat. "I am a Druid, daughter of a Dragonlord. I have magic."

What followed was a heavy uncomfortable silence. Arthur didn't move. He didn't say anything. He just stood there his mouth hanging slightly a gap. "Magic." He finally gasped taking a step back. "Why-" he stopped seeming to have a hard time processing what Mira had just told him.

"Why are you telling me this now?" He asked his voice choked as if the was struggling to speak.

"I need you to understand the truth." Mira said begging to pick at the peeling skin around her broken nails. "I need you to understand that not all of my kind are dangerous." Mira stepped closer to Arthur before he had a chance to speak. With all the gale she could muster in that moment she pulled her blouse up over her head.

The air was cold crawling in goosebumps across her exposed skin, her cheeks burning with embarrassment at standing so exposed in front of a man she barely knew. "This is what all of your hate has cost so many. And I am more lucky than most." She ground out her anger driving away the childish feelings of embarrassment rolling in her stomach.

Arthur stood still for a moment. Mira's words echoing in his ears as he stared at her exposed chest. Her breasts were gone, that was the most shocking and horrifying thing for Arthur. It made his cheeks burn in anger but he couldn't look away. She had a slender build, but her chest was flat and mutilated. The fire having ravaged the once porcelain skin twisting it in ways that could never be healed.

Finally after a long moment Arthur drew his eyes up to Mira's face. Tears shone in her eyes, her jaw clenched tightly shut as she struggled not to cry.

"I'm sorry." He said even though the knew it wasn't enough. He had to say it.

"You were raised to believe possessing magic made a person evil." Mira said. "But is there not already evil in men?"

Arthur dropped his head looking almost embarrassed or unsure. "I know that my Father did many terrible things but he did them too protect me. To protect Camelot."

"And that is what you believe?" Mira asked sharply. "That all of those who possess magic are set against Camelot and its King, then tell me Arthur how are you still here?"

Arthur looked up his brow creasing in confusion. Mira could tell he didn't have an answer so she pushed on. "If all those who practiced magic were as evil as you say, you and your kingdom would have been ash long before you were even conceived. Are you really so naive to believe that you, a mortal King, could possible contend with all the magical foes that have slammed against these walls?"

"What are you saying?" Arthur asked his voice quiet.

"Even as this war rages on there has always been magic at the heart of Camelot. People like me risking death to protect Camelot. To protect you."

Arthur shook his head. "That is impossible, I have no alliance with your kind." He said.

"None that you know of." Mira said pulling her blouse back over her head, taking a long moment to straighten it out. Letting her last words sink in. Arthur looked about ready to fall over when she next looked at him. He was clinging so tightly to the table, his knuckles blanched white.

"We are like shadows Arthur. Unimportant people you could easily overlook. The servants who bustle under your feet: scouring your floors, washing your laundry, bringing you your meals. Nameless we must live to survive. But we are there Arthur."

Arthur swayed Mira stepping forward to ease him back into his chair. Fearing he would collapse. "Why?" Arthur choked out looking up at her. "After all that I've done to you would you ever want to help me?"

"For a long time I was angry." Mira said. "But what does anger solve? It only creates more casualties. So I choose to have faith in you and maybe one day I will no longer have to hide." Arthur leaned forward letting out a shaky breath.

"I know you scared and I know you're hurting. But you asked me to be honest with you and this is the honest truth." Mira knelt down taking Arthur's hand she squeezed it gently. "There is great evil in magic yes that is true but there is also love and hope." Arthur lifted his eyes to look at her. "Have faith in me. And if you'll let me, I will show you the good in magic."

~/0\~

Kilian stood in the dark drawing his cloak tighter around him as the night chill began to creep through the stone walls. This morning Kilian had been returning from his morning patrol, passing through the kitchen to collect his breakfast when he had run into George.

He had seemed frazzled, speaking quickly in a hushed voice as if he feared being overheard. He had practically begged Kilian to meet him here tonight. Kilian had agreed although he barely knew the serving boy but he could tell that whatever it was George wished to discuss with him it was urgent and he feared to speak of it in the open. He had to be in trouble of some kind. And Kilian knew he would try to help him if he could.

The door creaked open behind Kilian as a soft light fell at his feet. A shadow stole inside the door before slipping it quietly closed behind him.

"Kilian." George whispered.

"Yes, I am here." Kilian said stepping forward so they could just make out the other in the dim light. George let out a relieved sigh, his boots shifting nervously on the floor. "What is wrong George." Kilian asked. "I'll help you if I can."

"I know." George said. "That is why I asked you here." Kilian never saw it coming. George's fist swung out of the dark knocking Kilian's head ringing. He stumbled back feeling George's fingers materialize from the dark around his throat. George practically lifted Kilian off his feet as the slammed him back against the wall. Kilian's body heaving as he gasped for breath.

"The others wouldn't have come." George said almost manically. "Most of them don't even know my name. But not you."

"I made a vow to protect and serve." Kilian gasped. His head still spinning. His lungs burning as he struggled to force air past George's tightening fingers. "George." Kilian choked out trying to hide the fear that made his heart pound deafeningly in his ears.

"Shhh." George hissed. "I don't want to kill you." He said driving a long metal rod up through Kilian's side into the wall behind him. Mortar crumbling to the floor as Kilian screamed. His knees giving way as his blood ran warmly across George's fingers.

Kilian lifted his trembling fingers around the long metal shaft that was now protruding from his side. Tears burned down his cheeks as the pain made his vision swim. "But I need you to stay put." George said gripping the end of the shaft and twisting it sideways.

Kilian threw his head back an agonized scream burning in his throat as George pushed the bar up against his stomach. Pinning him to the wall. Kilian's head dropped forward as George grasped him firmly by the shoulder. "Stay here and rest." He said Kilian eyes fluttering as he could feel his strength running hotly down his side.

George lifted his hand to his lips, licking hungrily Kilian's blood from his fingers. The moon shifted in the sky casting a pale light across George's shifting features. He grew taller. His shoulders broaden as his features grew longer and sharper. And soon George was gone and Kilian was looking at himself.

"Neat trick, huh?" George sneered.

"You're-" Kilian's fell silent to weak to finish the thought.

"I'm a Khthonian, son of Hekate. My name is Anansi and I am many things." Anansi stepped closer shoving a rough piece of cloth in Kilian's mouth. "And now with your help I will have my vengence." He said turning and disappearing into the darkness. Kilian dropped his head a sob shaking his body as his eyes fell heavily closed.


End file.
